Thank you for calling 1-800-SUICIDE.
If you wish to self terminate by electric shock - press 1
For termination by overdose - press 2
If you would like to make a reservation to visit our drowning pool -
please press 3
For termination by hanging - please press 4
For death by self inflicting gunshot - press 5
To speak to a representative, stay on the line.
If you dont wish to die - please hang up now.